Aquaman

The Paperboy

Directed by Lee Daniels.

2012. Rated R, 107 minutes.

Cast:

Matthew McConaughey

Nicole Kidman

Zac Efron

John Cusack

David Oyelowo

Scott Glenn

Ned Bellamy

Nealla Gordon

Macy Gray

Hillary Van Wetter (Cusack) is sitting on death row after being convicted of murdering the local sheriff. Charlotte Bless (Kidman) is a groupie for inmates who has fallen in love with Mr. Van Wetter through the letters they exchange. She has also sent some letters to big city newspaper reporter Ward Jansen (McConaughey) who happens to be from this particular small town, claiming Hillary was framed. Ward comes home, writing partner Yardley (Oyelowo) in tow, to investigate this possibly huge story and potentially save a man’s life. Also helping out is Ward’s little brother Jack (Efron) who still lives with their parents. Almost forgot, it is the nineteen sixties and we are in the south, so it is of some importance that Yardley, as well as Jansen family maid Anita (Gray), is black. Also vital to the tale is that our prisoner is certainly no angel.

What The Paperboy wants to be is a hyper-sexual, racially charged, and shocking thriller. To that end, it does things that are hyper-sexual, racially charged, and shocking. The problem is they don’t come together in a manner allowing it to be what it wants. The ones that work are undeniably memorable. I, for one, will never forget the scene of Charlotte’s first visit to Hillary in jail. The ones that don’t work merely add to the clutter.

Believe it or not, seeming to fly by the seat of its pants is not this movie’s worse offense. All of the different strands, even though they don’t congeal properly, are intriguing in their own way and could have made a really fascinating movie. The bigger issue is the mechanics it uses to tell these stories. An old adage that applies to art in any medium is that it is better to show than to tell. Lesser artists often tell, robbing their work of its power. Think of it like the punchline of a great joke. People who “get it” will probably laugh. Those you have to explain it to, will probably not. Through the use of Anita as a narrator, The Paperboy constantly explains itself. Nearly every time we hear her in voice-over, she’s either telling us what we just saw, or what we are about to see. This is a common pitfall for movies to fall into when employing a narrator. It’s one The Paperboy never even tries to avoid.

On top of being the annoying narrator, Macy Gray gives a terrible performance whenever she appears within the story. She often sounds as if she is reading. Even then, her words are garbled in a way that doesn't fit the character. She has a cameo in Tyler Perry’s most ambitious film, For Colored Girls. I am not a fan of Perry’s, but Gray combines with his direction to give us a wonderfully harrowing two minutes of film. She also has a solid, but brief turn in Training Day. Her performances in those movies versus what we get here lead me to believe she’s best in small doses. Very small.

Zac Efron as Jack, the actual focal point of all the goings on, also fails to impress. He doesn't do anything egregiously wrong. He just is not believable. He never feels as naïve and innocent as he should. I know that’s an odd thing to say about a guy best known for the High School Musical trilogy. The truth is, he’s become a sex symbol and wears the status like a second skin, giving off a confidence this character is not supposed to have.

If there is a saving grace for this movie, it’s the rest of the cast. Matthew McConaughey is his typically magnetic self. The man has undeniable presence and it is once again on full display. As the man on death row, John Cusack matches McConaughey, if not surpassing him. He completely takes over whenever he is on the screen. I fear that because this will not be noted as one of his better movies, it will be some of his most overlooked work. David Oyelowo is also very good. We’re never really sure how to take his character, but he’s awfully convincing doing all the things he does.

Outdoing all of the guys, we get our biggest kick out of, or are most disgusted by, a vamped up Nicole Kidman. She keeps the gas pedal to the floor all the way through the film. Her character is not likable and doesn't seem to be all there. She often only vaguely resembles a human being. It is just a ridiculously bad role. She couldn't possibly make it believable. Still, she plays it to the hilt, bringing an element of “so bad it’s awesome” to the proceedings. Watching her, Basic Instinct 2 came leaping to mind. About that movie, the late great Roger Ebert wrote “The Catherine Trammell role cannot be played well, but Sharon Stone can play it badly better than any other actress alive.” The same applies to Kidman, here.

As for the rest of the movie, things keep happening that appear independent of each other but the movie keeps trying to persuade us are part of a cohesive whole. Many of these seem to have been done simply for shock value. Our conclusion is fun, but doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Let me backtrack for a sec. What happens makes perfect sense. How it happens does not. We’re left with a film that has an awful lot going on and can be fun because of all the zaniness. However, it never feels like it actually works.

Just Go with It

Directed by Dennis Dugan.

2011. Rated PG-13, 117 minutes.

Cast:

Adam Sandler

Jennifer Aniston

Brooklyn Decker

Nick Swardson

Nicole Kidman

Dave Matthews

Bailee Madison

Griffin Gluck

Kevin Nealon

Ratchel Dratch

Minka Kelly

Dan Patrick

Keegan-Michael Key

Ever since he was jilted at the altar twenty some odd years ago, Danny (Sandler) has been an unrepentant womanizer. He still wears the engagement ring he bought way back when as a decoy. When the woman he’s talking to notice it, he tells them how miserable his marriage is to gain sympathy points and to get in their pants. It usually works. When he meets Palmer (Decker), he thinks his days as a ladies’ man is done because she is the one. However, she actually wants to meet his wife to verify the two are actually getting a divorce. This is where Katherine (Aniston) comes in. Danny happens to be a top notch plastic surgeon and Katherine is his assistant. She agrees to pose as his soon-to-be-ex-wife during a lunch. When it slips that she has two children, Palmer naturally assumes they are also Danny’s kids. One thing leads to another and the whole gang of them, plus Danny’s cousin Eddie (Swardson), are off to Hawaii for a week of bonding that our hero hopes will end with he and Palmer living happily ever after.

If you want to know how this is going to play out, you only have to tap into your memory banks and do a little tweaking. Let me help. If these characters were in high school, Brooklyn Decker would be playing the hot and popular cheerleader while Jennifer Aniston play’s Sandler’s platonic best friend, hiding her beauty beneath a pony tail and glasses. Aniston really does sport that look, at least in the beginning. If that doesn’t help you, I don’t know what will.

Since we don’t have to worry about where the plot will take us, we only have to decide whether or not we find it funny. It is. In a few spots. Sandler doesn't do anything terribly different than normal so he’ll make you laugh as much, or as little as usual. Swardson is his buffoonish sidekick and mostly annoying, but does have a moment or two worthy of a laugh. The two kids have their moments, as well. Aniston is funny only when her character is “in character” as the over the top ex-wife. Nicole Kidman and Dave Matthews fare best as a couple Aniston desperately competes with in Hawaii. Finally, as an actress, Brooklyn Decker is a great swimsuit model.

Therein lies the rub. Ms. Decker is both the best and worst part of Just Go with It. As implied, her performance is entirely forgettable. Nothing she does suggests she is more than just a pretty face. She’s since failed to change my mind on that with her less than stellar work in Battleship and What to Expect When You’re Expecting. On the other hand, for pigs like me, the scene of her emerging from the ocean in a yellow bikini is indelible. It’s probably one of the best bikini scenes of any movie ever made. It completely overshadows a similar, less bombastic but still impressive moment featuring Aniston. Then again, what does it say about this film that these are by far the two best scenes? Other than causing envy in lots of viewers wishing that their own sexual dilemma is having to choose between these two ladies, it doesn't speak well. The only thing I clearly heard the movie say is Adam Sandler has lots of money and will spend any amount of it for a piece of ass.

Ranking the Batman Movies: #15

15. Batman Forever

(1995)

Directed by Joel Schumacher

Batman…Val Kilmer

Robin…Chris O’Donnell

Alfred…Michael Gough

James Gordon…Pat Hingle

The Riddler…Jim Carrey

Two-Face…Tommy Lee Jones

Dr. Chase Meridian…Nicole Kidman

Well, whaddya know? We populate the bottom of the list with both Joel Schumacher movies. Anyone even vaguely familiar with the franchise probably knew this would be the case. This was the first of the JS flicks. He was hired to lighten up the series after the macabre adventure that was Tim Burton’s Batman Returns. The results are fairly bad. The tone is uneven: dark and brooding at some points, over the top campy at others. It makes little to no sense whatsoever. As The Riddler, Jim Carrey delivers a completely unhinged performance. It’s like watching Frank Gorshin on speed. That part isn’t so bad because we kind of expect that from him. What’s bizarre is watching Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face behave the same way. It didn’t seem to fit either him or the character. Robin is introduced, for I don’t know what reason. The pleasant surprise is that Val Kilmer wasn’t too bad as Batman.